About Me


Here’s where I’m at.

I think that morality is self evident. True, I can’t be within each and every person, observing at every moment of their lives, but I do believe that if people, whenever they are about to do anything, would look within themselves, they would know what is right.

If people stop seeing things as if they are being done to them, they can begin to see that the world looks quite different from a fresh perspective. If, instead of becoming angry with our work, or our spouse, or our new puppy, pissing all over everything, we ask ourselves what is good in this moment, what happens? Things look differently.

There are always things to be thankful for, but I believe most of the time, most of us forget to be conscious of that fact and instead focus on what is being done to them.

For me, the interesting thing is that, whenever I focus on being fully aware, I tend to want to do, at least what I perceive to be, the right thing.

For instance, I had been standing in the line of a thrift store, waiting to buy a frame for a piece of art I’d just finished. My wife was still searching for hangers, so I was in no rush, and this was a good thing, because the line was moving… well, really it wasn’t moving at all. A young, gothic looking couple approached, and I knew what was coming.

My pride had kicked in subconsciously, so I took a step forward, as if to say, “yes, I’ve been standing in this line long before you.” The lady hung something back up on a rack next to us, and I began to be angered by their powerful punch to my pride. I thought about walking around them, but then my awareness caught up with me.  I thought, “So what?” I was still waiting on Macy, and there’s no reason to let these two ruin my mood and possibly my day.

Because I’m weird, I observed the couple for the next few minutes, and I tried to think about how they seemed good for each other.

I’m not saying any of this to sound righteous or like I’ve got all the answers. I mean, my behavior very well could have been the result of fear; that guy was like, 6’4″ and looked like he had a lot of Native American in those veins, and I haven’t really been working out, for like, a while. I’m just saying, in regular life, I went from being pissed off every day because I had to go to work and pissed off every night, because I couldn’t stop thinking about what was pissing me off while I was at work, to being more focused on whether or not I’m actually a good, useful person, on the path, I hope, to self acceptance.

Now, I’ve been focusing on art, my family life, and making sure my soul, if I’ve got one, is not too disappointed in me.

-Jabin Hawkins


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